It may not seem it but I do and I don’t mean it.

I’m throwing myself right into this one. I know that my handle doesn’t always match my posts but you’ve gotta know that I wouldn’t even be blogging if it wasn’t for my passion for customer service and experiences.

Experiences – there’s so many things that swim around this word, ‘experiences’ what does it mean? we have good ones, bad ones, big ones, small ones, life changing ones – some which are for better and some for worse. Life is full of them but why do we have to face the ones that make us wish we could have more control of what’s thrown at us? I don’t know either but we’ve got no choice than to experience these experiences and learn from them. Things like that always seem such a cliche “life throws these things at you to make you a better person” – why? So many times in life where it leaves me asking ‘why?’ and that feels kind of silly that I have to ask such a question, surely I should know the answer ’cause these are my ‘experiences’ so why am I asking why they’re happening?

I’m a ‘people pleaser’, A few years ago I would have said that I was a ‘people person’ but that doesn’t quite fit my personality lately. Instead of connecting with people and getting on a mutual level that everyone can relate to, have fun and enjoy each other’s company I find myself wanting to ‘people please’ instead. I fight a battle with my vocabulary as I become a record on repeat asking the same questions and giving the same answers, “are you ok?”, “Sorry” , “Yeah, I’m fine” or “No, I’m not fine, but I will be” , “what do you need” , “How can I help” or “what can I do” and all those kinds of short sentences. I feel I can sense greatly when there’s a tension in a situation and I feel I’m good at knowing what the other person needs at the time yet I never ask or do what I need and I carry on saying it’s “Ok” when really I need a break. I need a moment of clear, calm and I can’t even think of another word which describes the opposite to stress.

A couple, or maybe even a few years ago now, I had a bit of a knock-back experience with a friendship group, I won’t get into now but from this experience, I can only tell you now that you’ll be surprised how much of an impact people have on your life, it can really affect you long-term depending on the kind of person you are and if you’re like me, someone who questions most things in life, then be careful who you let in and make a difference to you as a person because to this day I still question “what if I’d taken the advice I refused before?” if I had essentially ‘people pleased’, would life be better or worse? or am I once again on the road of ‘Do what you’re told, not what you believe is right’

Here’s another question, what would you answer to this? ‘If people say “only you know what’s best” – What do you do when you really haven’t got a clue?”

Again, I don’t have the answer but what I’ve been doing is plodding through it really, questioning every single thought, wanting to glue my lips together to stop me from talking because when I speak the first thing I think is ” was that the right thing to say? Did I just offend, disappoint or upset you?” It’s all really topsy turvy and a hard experience to have and I’m sure there are millions of people who can relate.

If you can, take the time you need. Yes, the show must go on but you’re the star and you must be centre stage ready! I’m still not quite there with taking that advice, life doesn’t always allow you to do what you need exactly at the time you need it but with saying that there will be people to help you along the way, people who want to be there for you and you’ll know the sincere ones, I believe I do and I know those who aren’t but who’s obliged to care? No-One so feel lucky when people do.

Hold on to the hopes and dreams you have and take those steps to get to where you want to be. I don’t know why these unavoidable experiences show themselves to each of us, choices we’ve made, choices we’re about to make and choices waiting for us to make so we can experience the next thing. The dark circles around my eyes, the constant headaches and the fear of disappointing everyone I come into contact with is something life is throwing at me now – my current life ‘experience’. I’ll let you know how it all turns out. If i figure out the answers to my ‘why’s’, I’ll be sure to share and aim to help you through any tough experiences you’re having.

Blog it. Cry it out. Scream. Laugh and do whatever the hell you need to so you can still experience a smile, even if it isn’t as often as you’d like, it’s there waiting for you through your next chapter.

Don’t forget how to love and start to learn how to forget the irrelevant stress that comes your way!

Lots of love!

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